DATELINE - East of Cheyenne, WY: Getting myself together
Well, been making and fielding calls all day. Rapture.

I would also like to thank all the well-wishers who have given me their sympathies.

I just never coped well with it because of a couple of things.

A) people I don't know/people who don't know the situation have been, nearly universially, people who wanted to something. That's always made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

B) People who I know/People who know the situation... well... I don't feel comfortable ruining their day with my problems. I mean, most of the people on my friends list haven't ever *met* my mother, but they may still come down with some sort of vague downer because of it.

I never said it was logicial - It's just the way I feel about this.

For example: My mother's standing last requests were 1) Give what you can to donor services, 2) Creamate and 3) No memorial service.

God, trying to explain to people that she didn't want a service. The funeral home asked me three times, as if I wasn't sure.

Then trying to explain to other people as well...

My mother was... usually pretty pragmatic. She always hated funerals and memorial services, because she felt that it kept salt in wounds that should be healing and life moves on.

She didn't fear dying at all. She had a near-death experience when she was quite young, and she was always calm about the certainty that she was going to die.

I miss her terribly right now. But I'm more sad for myself than I am for her.

So, especially with my upbringing of Sarcasm-Fu, I will be making several off-color comments. Today when talking with the nurse and the hospital chaplin, they mentioned that they might have to store her 'in a cool place' until my dad arrived (the weather was pretty bad this morning). My response - "Yeah, we both worked food service - you have to get the meat in the walk-in before it spoils."

They were taken a bit aback from this statement. Especially only after an hour after ToD.

But I'm sure my Mom appriciates it.

-DH

(Comments are back on - I may not repsond if all I'm going to do is say 'Thanks')