duckhunter (duckhunter) wrote,
duckhunter
duckhunter

Part I: Doors. Why is it always doors....

Yes, more e-mail:

Folks,

The little Southeastern lab door, alas, has gone where the woodbine twineth. Service will be out here ‘first call’ tomorrow morning to (hopefully) make the door happy and useful again.

Until such time, the door has been rendered not usable. You access cards will not work. If you push on the door, it will not open.**

Please use another door for access and egress.

-Duckhunter

** - The ‘Emergency Exit’ button will work but, as the name implies, IT SHOULD ONLY BE USED IN AN EMERGENCY! Having to walk an extra 30-40 yards to leave the building is only an emergency if the building or yourself are on fire. Using this button will cause all sorts of annoying events to occur, including dispatching a squadron of disgruntled, retired Jægerkorpset who have high blood levels in their alcohol systems. Their directives are to capture and not kill, but mistakes happen in the fog of war. When you are captured, I will use every strange and esoteric bit of knowledge in my head to help you understand the errors of your ways. In summary – just don’t push that button, mmmmkay?


And I *know* in my heart-of-hearts that I'm going to have to deal with at least one of my co-workers pressing the button...

-DH

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