1 - "I'm not a cynic. I've ascended beyond mere cynicism. There isn't even a word in the German language to describe the level of cynicism I've reached."
2 - "I'm going to skullf*** you. Which ear are you saving for marriage?"
3 - "This one is only half-full, and I have a full one in my pants."
And today isn't shaping up to be a lot better. There, but for the grace of Vitamin B and Caffeine, go I.....
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