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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in duckhunter's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
12:29 pm
Part I: Why do I have to keep teaching them the same things....
Once again, a co-worker takes one of Facilities carts and says, "I'll treat it like it's my own."

Once again, I have to correct them. "No. You'll treat it like it belongs to someone with an aggressively un-Christian attitude about forgivness, access to every facet of your workspace, and a basic working knowledge of improvised explosives."

I just want things to be crystal clear...


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/312438.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Sunday, January 5th, 2014
5:06 pm
Forgot to add the Tumblr Link from the previous message. I suck. :s

This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/312319.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
4:49 pm
Another Year, Another Polar Plunge
And here you thought I forgot. :)

This year wasn't as horrible as last year. My costume had a lot less complexity than last year, and as you can tell from the video I linked to previously - I got everything done well before the event itself.

This year, there was only about 200 plungers - about a third of what they had last year. A lot of this was from the last-minute 'rescue' of the event by Boulder County Aids Project after Young Professionals' Alzheimer's Association of Colorado gave it up in August. Not as much time to advertise and also the fact they started it an hour earlier than previous years.

As for the past 3 years, I've been changing into my outfit at work (as it's closer to the Boulder Reservoir), taking pictures, and heading into the event. I actually had a coworker walk in during the photo shoot this year. Poor lady. ;)

Anyway, since I was fighting with Tumblr anyway, I also uploaded pics from my previous years at the plunge. Most of the same pictures that you've seen here, but I figure it would be nice to go to a single spot for this rather than going back and forth between Tumblr and ImageShack.

And this year - I made the Denver Post, both print and online, as well as some video time with Fox31(KDVR) (My bit is about 1:09 in. :) )

So... I guess it's time to start planning 2015's Plunge...


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/311903.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Friday, December 20th, 2013
8:37 pm
What in the heck?
Who was that large masked man?

Feel free to share to anyone you want to frighten. :)


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/311745.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Thursday, December 19th, 2013
10:02 am
Oh... another thing... (Manual share from Dreamwidth)
Since I'm making a quarter-assed effort to raise money for the Polar Plunge charity (This year, changing from Young Professionals Alzheimers Association of Colorado to Boulder County AIDS Project), I'll post the link here.


Back to work.

9:50 am
And here you thought I was dead...
Actually, since I'm on e-mail probation, I've been doing most of my stuff on Facebook, as it's easier to just do a quick post there.

But, since I sent out an e-mail today... I share it here.


This morning, I changed out the filters on all the filtered water spigots in the coffee areas and break rooms, as well as the filters for the drinking fountains.

I have done my best to ‘burp’ the system, but you may still get air bubbles in the system here and there. Especially on the water fountains, where their unique location along the water-pressure-tree means that you tend to get the whole range of water pressure, from “East German Water Cannon Set On Flense” to “Usefulness and Volume That Rivals Congress”.

During the next couple of days, you may see black flecks in your water. You may choose the explanation below that fills your heart with joy:

A) Harmless Activated Charcoal dust left in the filter as a by-product of the manufacturing process
B) Super Secret mutagen that has a 0.0001 percent chance of altering your DNA, making you a Mighty Champion of Humanity in the upcoming Alien Pirate Robot Ninja Lemur Apocalypse.

If you have any further questions, let me know.

I guess I'm back... for at least this post. :)


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/311295.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Tuesday, February 26th, 2013
3:39 pm
Part I: Did someone call a... facilities specialist? Boy, it's hot in here...
Embarassing moment of the day (so far):

I was drinking milk out of a box (some leftovers from a Milk-N-Cookie event last week). I finished the milk, so I blew up the box as much as possible for my own amusement. Took the straw out of my mouth, and all the remaining milk shot out on my face, getting in my eye and all over my glasses....

So... I just gave myself a money shot in the face. And I'm not even breathing hard. I wonder if this should go on my resume....

(UPDATE!: Boss just read this. She asked me if anyone saw it, or was I at my cube. I told her I was alone, but I usually was in that situation. She LALALALALALAed and put her fingers in her ears...)


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/310809.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Tuesday, January 15th, 2013
10:01 am
Part I: I so love my friends...
From an conversation elsenet....

Points: Arrrgh! Circular dependencies.

Me: Yes, the 113th Congress' first full day in session is today. Why do you bring it up? ;)

Points: That's a circle jerk.. except there's actually three circles going on, and while they're wanking, they're pointing at the other circles and chanting 'gaaaaaay!'

Me: [loses it, giggling]

Points: Am I wrong?

Me: Spot on, actually. Mind if I share?

Points: Go for it.

Points: Attribution.

So, here's to Points! God of My Morning!


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/310718.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Sunday, January 13th, 2013
1:30 pm
Long quasi-rant.
Just me going on and on about guns. Feel free to ignore.Collapse )


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/310419.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Saturday, January 5th, 2013
9:59 pm
As promised - Write-up for Polar Plunge 2013!
This is the long write up.

Cut for Friend's List KindnessCollapse )
For those who want pics, I'm trying Tumblr this year. So go take a look.


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/310157.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Tuesday, January 1st, 2013
11:02 pm
I'm getting there...
Yes, I did plunge today. I just wanted to say that much.

I will have a more extensive write-up, but it will happen either tomorrow (Jan. 2nd) or over the weekend.

Sadly, the buildup was far more entertaining than the actual plunge (but I did get a brief on-camera interview with a local station - dunno if it's worth using or not.)

Sorry to make you wait, but it is coming.


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/309941.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Monday, December 24th, 2012
12:54 pm
Part I: One door closes...
As I said in FaceBook, "In 2006, my father beat cancer. Saturday, December 15th, cancer evened up the series, one-all."

Long-winded introspective crap behind the cut. Nothing to see here...Collapse )

This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/309699.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Thursday, October 4th, 2012
9:08 am
Part I: Yesterday... is best not spoken of again...
Three phrases I used yesterday at work, in chronological order:

1 - "I'm not a cynic. I've ascended beyond mere cynicism. There isn't even a word in the German language to describe the level of cynicism I've reached."
2 - "I'm going to skullf*** you. Which ear are you saving for marriage?"
3 - "This one is only half-full, and I have a full one in my pants."

And today isn't shaping up to be a lot better. There, but for the grace of Vitamin B and Caffeine, go I.....


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/309453.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Thursday, September 6th, 2012
10:53 am
Part I: Long e-mail is looooong.

I’ve got a lot of stuff to say about things happened/will happen to the conference room A/V around the building. However, because I put on a very sincere pretense about caring, here is a shortened ‘TL;DR’ version:

1. The HD projector installation in Executive, Estes and Ft. Collins Conference Rooms is now complete.
2. Please shut off all A/V systems and projectors after meetings. This will prevent me from finding new and horrifyingly annoying ways to control the problem.
3. Use the voting buttons above to choose our next A/V ‘Guinea Pig’ Room!

There. Those of you who are coffee overachievers unable to read more than 140 characters at a time without your nervous system seizing up can now move on to the next shiny, shiny thing that requires your attention. You gotta keep moving. You’ll catch on your email when you’re dead. You’re on the StairMaster to Success, and you got to go up Up UP!!!

For everyone else – Feel free to continue.

More e-mail weirdness behind the cut...Collapse )


Man, I'm pooped.


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/309055.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Tuesday, September 4th, 2012
10:19 am
Part I: The Good, The Bad, and the Poorly Planned.
Yeah, I'm going to get a little political here. Just a tad, anyway.

I'm going to muse a bit on Clint Eastwood's speech at the Republican National Convention.

When I first watched it (You can watch it here (ABC News via YouTube, so pretty much non-partisan) it wasn't bad a speech until he got to the infamous chair (and there were a couple of decent slams even during that bit)...

What's pissing me off is that every one is slamming Eastwood.

Roger Ebert's blog sums it up pretty well.

Age had nothing to do it. Mr. Eastwood is damn talented. This presentation was a horror show of poor planning and ad-lib horror.

Frankly, this was pretty much how my one attempt at stand-up comedy went. I was unprepared, made some changes on the fly, and I delivered a steaming turd to my audience.

Mr. Eastwood does have to take responsibility for this for one reason - He didn't polish or practice enough and/or he listened to people backstage shouting numbers at him to use for presentation points.

As a performer, he had a bad day, and it shows. I think even he realizes that he could have done a hell of a lot better.

The 'Invisible Man' thing can work. Watch any of Bob Newhart's phone conversations. Look at any decent one-man show. Heck, look at Stephen Colbert doing what Clint should have done.



This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/308856.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Friday, August 17th, 2012
2:03 pm
Part I: This is what happens when I sleep well....
Duckhunter: I love life...
Nimirpard: I'm fond of living, too.
Nimirpard: What inspired that statement? :p
Duckhunter: Ahem..
Duckhunter: Nothing much...
Duckhunter: :)
Nimirpard: Oh, by the way, can you just wrap up these 12 new office moves I'm telling you about for the first time by the end of the day today? Thanks!
Nimirpard: ...
Duckhunter: I'm having... a day.
Nimirpard: I can tell.
Duckhunter: However, I should be able to escape for some pasta...
Duckhunter: I'm hoping...
Duckhunter: Before someone else comes along.
Nimirpard: Ooooh, pasta sounds tasty.
Duckhunter: On the good side, our CEO just announced that he loves April Fool's day, and that people should 'Bring It', as he was planning on doing exactly that...
Nimirpard: ...
Nimirpard: He does know you, right?
Duckhunter: Well, it's a holiday. I don't do holidays.
Duckhunter: He's safe. From me, anyway.
Nimirpard: That seems like it would be a really good holiday for you to celebrate.
Nimirpard: Besides, I disagree with it being a holdiay. :p
Duckhunter: I don't need any excuse to put 10-15 GB of donkey porn on his computer....
Duckhunter: ...
Duckhunter: My god...
Duckhunter: I think I have truly and rightly snapped today...
Duckhunter: I'm kinda scaring myself with what I'm typing...
Duckhunter: I don't even have *5* GB of donkey porn.... ;)
Nimirpard: I think it is bad that I just assumed you were both prepared to do that and could come up with the materials to do so fairly readily.
Duckhunter: Sadly, it's not that hard. That's about 5 'donkey shows' in HD. ;)
Nimirpard: This is the kind of research I knew you'd be prepared with.
Duckhunter: I'm so glad I'm meeting your expectations. :D
Duckhunter: This may have to go on LJ...

Yeah. I think that this is going to be Exhibit #1 when they make a case to block IM in our office....


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/308485.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Monday, July 23rd, 2012
8:09 am
Part I: If you love me, lie for me...
An open letter to anyone who cares,

If I ever lose my life because of and/or during the random violent actions of another deranged human being, I ask of you, my friends, one simple thing.

Lie for me.

Or, better yet, tell the truth in such a way that it sound flippin' outrageous.

It is not my intention to make light of the recent events in Aurora. The trauma and losses suffered are very real and very painful, and I have nothing but sympathy for those affected.

But, in my case, I would rather be known as "The dead person who was nearly as crazy as the gunman" as "The good man who had everything left to live for."

So, when the news media come up to you and ask, "So, you knew Duckhunter?" I want you to respond with the first thing that comes to your head. Even if it's an outright lie.


"Duckhunter? Yeah, that sumbitch owes me money. Now I ain't never getting paid."

"Y'know, if the gunman wouldn't have got him, the Mafia would have."

"You know why he's called Duckhunter, right? Man, that sick bastard loved his ducks... and I'm not talking about for dinner..."

Whatever comes to mind.

At the very least, it'll go a long way keeping me from becoming a marytr that everyone has to find out everything about for some BS human interest story.


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/308429.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Tuesday, July 10th, 2012
12:07 pm
Part I: A couple of links short of a chain...
Know the dangers of paleontology.

Fun with Color Correction.

Time to run back and start justifying my paycheck.


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/308206.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Wednesday, June 13th, 2012
5:19 pm
Part I: Doors. Why is it always doors....
Yes, more e-mail:


The little Southeastern lab door, alas, has gone where the woodbine twineth. Service will be out here ‘first call’ tomorrow morning to (hopefully) make the door happy and useful again.

Until such time, the door has been rendered not usable. You access cards will not work. If you push on the door, it will not open.**

Please use another door for access and egress.


** - The ‘Emergency Exit’ button will work but, as the name implies, IT SHOULD ONLY BE USED IN AN EMERGENCY! Having to walk an extra 30-40 yards to leave the building is only an emergency if the building or yourself are on fire. Using this button will cause all sorts of annoying events to occur, including dispatching a squadron of disgruntled, retired Jægerkorpset who have high blood levels in their alcohol systems. Their directives are to capture and not kill, but mistakes happen in the fog of war. When you are captured, I will use every strange and esoteric bit of knowledge in my head to help you understand the errors of your ways. In summary – just don’t push that button, mmmmkay?

And I *know* in my heart-of-hearts that I'm going to have to deal with at least one of my co-workers pressing the button...


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/307891.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Wednesday, June 6th, 2012
4:35 pm
Part I: Hey, Everybody, it's ICON TIME!
Just a sexy, sexy chicken for you, courtesy of the scary folks at Nerf This!

The specific comic is right here if you don't want to wade through the Archive...

That is all.


This entry was originally posted at http://duckhunter.dreamwidth.org/307468.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
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