If I ever lose my life because of and/or during the random violent actions of another deranged human being, I ask of you, my friends, one simple thing.
Lie for me.
Or, better yet, tell the truth in such a way that it sound flippin' outrageous.
It is not my intention to make light of the recent events in Aurora. The trauma and losses suffered are very real and very painful, and I have nothing but sympathy for those affected.
But, in my case, I would rather be known as "The dead person who was nearly as crazy as the gunman" as "The good man who had everything left to live for."
So, when the news media come up to you and ask, "So, you knew Duckhunter?" I want you to respond with the first thing that comes to your head. Even if it's an outright lie.
"Duckhunter? Yeah, that sumbitch owes me money. Now I ain't never getting paid."
"Y'know, if the gunman wouldn't have got him, the Mafia would have."
"You know why he's called Duckhunter, right? Man, that sick bastard loved his ducks... and I'm not talking about for dinner..."
Whatever comes to mind.
At the very least, it'll go a long way keeping me from becoming a marytr that everyone has to find out everything about for some BS human interest story.
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